What is it about a simple human touch that changes everything all the while intoxicating you with high levels of happiness. What I mean by this is that the other day I met a random hot stranger who picked me to dance at a nightclub. Sure we danced and lived it up but it wasn’t till after when we were sitting at a local dinner that I actually lost it. A void began to fill up that I never noticed existed or that I might have forgotten about. By simple placing his hands on my knees while we waited for our waiter it all rushed back. The lack of affection and human touch made itself so clear to me. I live for these moments. Moments when the slightest thing, the slightest touch can give you the most joy. And maybe if even for a bit it can even make you forgot what it felt to be lonely. Moments like this never last but I try and hold on to them as long as I can and even as they fade away I know eventually I’ll come across another…
Alright, so it’s almost February but nothing really seems to have changed. I could bitch and moan about how I am still single, still searching for a good job, and debating about going for a another degree or graduate school. Nevertheless, I will instead talk about more positive topics. Ever since graduation I have not been able to hit any sort of gym or university rec center, but working out at home has its payoffs! Around this same time last year I would spend the majority of my time in the gym working it up and driving the 20 minutes to my university rec center in the cold and snow. Now I have come to realize the benefits of the most simple workouts that don’t require a gym or multiple equipments and changing rooms. My favorite machine at the rec was this incline bench for working out the pectorals. I started at about sets of 30lbs and gradually worked my way to over 170lbs in about a year with only gradually gain in muscle tone. Push-ups, usually the first exercise you learn in 7th grade gym or earlier seems like the one you first forget when you start working out at a gym. Little did I know that it is probably the best exercise for building muscle tone in the chest region. I would like to first state that during my younger years I hated them. The though of doing more that 20 during gym class was like asking me to undergo torture. Alright, not exactly, I was always an athletic kid and slim so erase those images that you might have gotten watching “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” or more personal memories, I loved doing sit ups and running and playing soccer in my backyard. With all the free time during winter break I focused solely on this and painfully increased the number I could do in 3 or 4 sets to about 45. Needless to say I am more than happy with the definition I gained in about a month or so! I still miss the gym and its resources but I see no reason to join one any time soon. Bring on the spring and the outdoor running and with some work I will be in the best shape of my life, and maybe just maybe my luck will change for the better.
Obw if you can’t tell Francisco Lachowski is my inspiration! =P
I have been out-of-state for a while now stuck in a hotel most the day… Nothing says lonely like days spent alone in your hotel room. I tried working out in their gym and occasionally I walk over to the Borders Books store next door but other than that I am pretty much by myself. I met a guy recently and we hit it off alright at first, he has my favorite eye color: green! I can’t get enough of his eyes… they pale compared to my light brown ones. Nevertheless, we haven’t really got the chance to really click and get to know each other and being out-of-state doesn’t help. I have been single most my life but I try not to dwell in it too much. Friends are always complaining how they haven’t been with someone in a couple months… I haven’t in 2 years now…. hahahaha wow it’s really kinda sad and funny in a way. I meet people and they totally think the opposite. Guys will think I get a lot of action and what not but the truth is I spend my days just waiting for a decent guy actually worth my time. Over the past year and a half I was talking to a guy in Columbus. It started out as a friendship, him more into me that I thought, and me not having any of it. Somehow I began to fall for this guy. I visited him the last time and felt the complete opposite of what was the beginning, him wanting not to ruin our friendship with a relationship and me trying and failing to win him over. Karma can be a bitch sometimes. He would make us dinner at night, buy my own bottle of wine, and make me the perfect vodka tonics. Those weekends spent with him were days that i feel belong in a different time to a different me. Its been about a half a year since I have seen him. He text-ed me over the summer saying he found someone and he is no longer spending his nights alone. I can honestly say I feel happy for him, even though it stings a bit; his last kiss when I saw him last February left me with an insane desire that has yet ceased to calm itself. Every now and then I remember those nights spent sleeping together, my head in his chest, and remind myself how close I came to happiness.