A love affair with life… and the occasional interest

Author Archive

Lance Lundsten


Lance Ludsten

Ever since the tragic deaths of various gay teens during the latter part of last year people have become more aware of a problem ever-present in our schools and the harmless victims that succumb to it. Still, just this weekend another beautiful young teen decided to take his life just months from his high school graduation. Lance Lundsten, an 18 year senior in a Minnesota high school is now the latest victim of fellow peers  and society that somehow cannot accept the fact that we exist and find it hard to understand how words and hatred can lead others to the unimaginable. These young people, some as young as 13 and 15, had their whole lives ahead of them. It is so sad that people can’t accept others for who they are and instead turn to bullying and aggression as a way to channel their own fears. I am grateful that such things never really came to affect me during my high school years partly because I didn’t really come out till the start of college. Nevertheless, part of me feels immense amounts of sympathy and pain when I hear about these events and especially when I see the beautiful faces and pictures of individuals that could still be here with us.

Love on the rocks…

This song just does not seem to leave my head and last night I even dreamt it came on in my imaginary radio of my imaginary apartment… Now I attest to the simple fact that this never happens to me. Nevertheless, I am up early and raping the repeat button on youtube and signing way too early in the morning of this cold snowy day! I know the song has a hidden message in it can anyone tell me? Wait a clue… the title itself refers to my favorite way to have my Stoli or Belvedere. Now lets not get ahead of ourselves, clearly this isn’t your regular love song. Where else do you hear the lyrics flow like a drink being poured and give you the same feeling of numbness such as love. At the same time things start to mellow out and your back where you began…. so trajic but true! Eventually, you’ll just end up trying to get things out of your system for better or worse…. Listen for yourself and see if you don’t feel the same, although maybe it’s just me being my humble sad self… =/

Call me by your name…

Andres Aciman’s first novel is one that took me away last summer. Away from boredom, from a depressing love life, and the dread of having for the first time in my life, summer college courses. I know what you’re thinking, though reading might not be number one on your to do lists I can assure you it was the best two weeks I spent fantasizing about living and falling in love in the Italian Riviera. Written in the most beautiful prose, the story is told in first person perspective about a boy, named Elio, who at 17 already seems wiser than his age. He spends 6 weeks falling into an uneasy but captivating attraction for a young scholar, Oliver, who is doing his post doctoral research at his parents’ house. Elio is at first apprehensive and sees Oliver as a competitor for attention and romantic interests in the small Italian village. While trying to gain Oliver as a friend, Elio is awakened to the fact that he is actually in a state of desire for the family guest. Although seemingly disturbed by his attraction, Elio knows deep inside he’d rather follow through with his desires than never take a chance.  In his struggles, he tries to find a way to open up but notices subtle mixed messages from Oliver that are confusing and threatening all in the same. At times Oliver calls on him to spend time either as his personal guide and tennis partner or accompanying him to town, and at others he puts him down in front of others and creates a rift between him and his friends. His maddening wish to have Oliver come into his room and fulfill a desire that is burning him from the core leaves him staying at home with Oliver just next door, even as his family leaves for the beach for the afternoon. Elio goes out of his way to try to win him over but is frustrated that Oliver seems to be unaffected and uninterested. At times Elio even wishes for his own death or that Oliver would die so as to extinguish a growing desire he knows is wrong. Eventually though, Elio finds the perfect moment to show his affection and expecting the worst, finds that Oliver too has been facing the same conflict. The tension felt by both characters in the next couple of days intensifies as Elio fears complete rejection from Oliver or even disgust, but  the story heats up with a passion I’ve yet to feel; one that maybe most of us wish for. Even as they find the ultimate way to realize their affection they know it’s not meant to last and find themselves wishing they had found each other earlier because know they really have just days to part. One last trip to Rome, where Oliver must depart for America, is a profound background for how to both cherish each winding moment but still find a way to let each other part.

I always find that most novels dealing with likewise themes seem to lack a unique sense of purpose and substance. This is one novel which I keep close to my heart and I hope many others choose to do the same. Although it deals with a gay coming of age theme many readers with different preconceptions will find a book, that once finished, will make you look twice at you own life. I encourage you to at least read the Amazon.com reviews and see for yourself, this book is truly a treasure worth reading.

Love Ronnie Kroell

So I have never watched “Make Me A Supermodel” but the first seasons runner-up  Ronnie, is like total boyfriend material! Watch this video and see if you don’t go: “Awwwwww too cute”. I wish life was this awesome sometimes =/

See told ya!

In other news… It’s December and the blues are out full force. I have not been able to update my blog in a while and I have good reason haha. Things haven’t gone like they should lately. Job searching is a nightmare and the one job I had lined up in Columbus turned out to be nothing like I expected. I started seeing someone for the first time in years and they turn out to be cheating on their bf. Basically… November was not a happy month. Here’s to the coming Holiday’s and hopefully the New Year!

Adriana Francesca Lima

Exotic Beauty

Adriana Francesca Lima
I dedicate this post to a model that made my site possible. Without the exotic beauty of this woman I would never have undertaken this blog. For the better part of this decade I was obsessed with how genuinely gorgeous this woman took the modeling world by storm. There is no one in the business right now or before with an angelic face, green acquiescent eyes, gorgeous smile, and voluptuous curves like Adriana Francesca Lima. Her beauty transcends generations of models and in my opinion she will go down as one of the most beautiful people who ever lived. With her fellow Victoria Secrete Angel’s, Gisele Bundchen and Alessandra Ambrosio, she became iconic for her sexy flirtatious runway walks and her intimately erotic lingerie ads. Currently, she has come back to modeling after taking a short hiatus in order to realize a marriage and the birth of her first child. Adriana Lima, months after giving birth was back on the runway looking fit as ever, I hope she retakes her rightful throne as the premier and ultimate Greek Aphrodite that she is.


Yoann Gourcuff… victim of homophobia

Like many of you I followed the World Cup diligently and was ecstatic at seeing Yoann Gourcuff lead a french squad in the same position as Zinedine Zidane. The excitement gave way to disappointment as the French team failed to qualify and move on to the next round. The days that followed were full of speculation and rumors that the team had a falling out with the coach and having Gourcuff as the playmaker. There were accusations that Ribery had called Gourcuff a “fag” and that Yoann didn’t get along with the senior members of the team. Recent articles are confirming these accusations. Honestly, how ugly and messed up can things get? Hating on someone just cause hes different, white, attractive, and not a thug like Ribery, Evra, and Anelka is just plain wrong. There is no proof yet of whether Gourcuff is actually gay and either way it should definitely not matter; nevertheless, it is really tragic that in this day and age we still have to deal with such issues. Click on the following articles for more info…





Gourcuff can pull any look…


Yoann Gourcuff

Yoann Gourcuff can pull any look off like no one else. I mean he has the most gorgeous eyes and lashes, a perfect facial structure, smile and hair. I am definitely not missing today’s game; Lyon vs PSG. He is talented enough as it is, but added to that he could be grazing the covers of magazines if he didn’t have a professional soccer contract…


Tyler Kenyon

Why is it once I am sure I’ve got my favorite male model and the man of my dreams picked up I end up finding another even more gorgeous and seductive than the last…  =/ Either way I’d like to share with you the Greek god, and  ultimate figure of a man, that is….

Tyler Kenyon

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Boyfriend Material 😉

 More after the Jump…


Falling For You

I can’t get enough of Neon Tree’s “Animal”…. Catchy song that I can’t stop singing, plus the band members are all pretty cute and sexy…

Colbie Caillat’s Song ” Falling For You”… I’ve started playing my guitar again and so far I have the intro and the first verse down. The chords are pretty easy. I might post a video of me playing but that may take a while jajaja. Here she is playing live at some studio… Just Beautiful =)

The last couple weeks Yoann Gourcuff awoke from his depressive World Cup and scored in both of France’s qualifiers!!! I was ecstatic and so happy for him. Everyone said he was overrated and should not have played but he sure proved everyone wrong. Also, Ronaldo, today, scored four goals for the first time ever….

Coming close to happiness…

Best way to be kissed ; )


I have been out-of-state for a while now stuck in a hotel most the day… Nothing says lonely like days spent alone in your hotel room. I tried working out in their gym and occasionally I walk over to the Borders Books store next door but other than that I am pretty much by myself. I met a guy recently and we hit it off alright at first, he has my favorite eye color: green! I can’t get enough of his eyes… they pale compared to my light brown ones. Nevertheless, we haven’t really got the chance to really click and get to know each other and being out-of-state doesn’t help. I have been single most my life but I try not to dwell in it too much. Friends are always complaining how they haven’t been with someone in a couple months… I haven’t in 2 years now…. hahahaha wow  it’s really kinda sad and funny in a way. I meet people and they totally think the opposite. Guys will think I get a lot of action and what not but the truth is I spend my days just waiting for a decent guy actually worth my time. Over the past year and a half I was talking to a guy in Columbus. It started out as a friendship, him more into me that I thought, and me not having any of it. Somehow I began to fall for this guy. I visited him the last time and felt the complete opposite of what was the beginning, him wanting not to ruin our friendship with  a relationship and me trying and failing to win him over. Karma can be a bitch sometimes. He would make us dinner at night, buy my own bottle of wine, and make me the perfect vodka tonics. Those weekends spent with him were days that i feel belong in a different time to a different me. Its been about a half a year since I have seen him. He text-ed me over the summer saying he found someone and he is no longer spending his nights alone. I can honestly say I feel happy for him, even though it stings a bit; his last kiss when I saw him last February left me with an insane desire that has yet ceased to calm itself. Every now and then I remember those nights spent sleeping together, my head in his chest, and remind myself how close I came to happiness.

My favorite sleeping position =/


Antoine Griezmann

So I’m surprised the past couple of entries have been all about soccer but I can’t help myself putting another one out… I was watching the Real Sociedad – Real Madrid game and found this cuttie! He’s French and only 19… I’m desperately wishing Laurent Blanc calls him up for the national team… wow I would die!

 Check this site if you want more!  http://z13.invisionfree.com/TheBackPage/ar/t781.htm

Yoann Gourcuff moves to Lyon

Chamakh and Gourcuff embrace after a win

 French international Soccer player Yoann Gourcuff recently made a transfer from Bordeaux to Lyon with hope of competing in this year’s Champions League. Gourcuff and teammate Chamakh were a formidable force at Bordeaux and they reached the quarter finals in last year’s UEFA Champions League. This year Bordeaux failed to qualify for the tournament and its legendary coach Laurent Blanc left to pick up the pieces of the French National Team which fell into disarray at the World Cup. Marouane Chamakh, striker for Bordeaux, also left to play at Arsenal and added to Yoann’s decision to move to Lyon but still continue in the French League. Lyon has always been one of my favorite teams, especially during the time Juninho played, a time that saw incredible if not impossible free-kick goals against Barcelona, Real Madrid, and Bayern. Hopefully now with Gourcuff they can reach farther in the tournament. Nevertheless, I will always miss how Gourcuff and Chamakh synchronized plays and specially how adorably they celebrated their success at Bordeaux.  

Celebrating a Goal


Rafael Nadal wins US Open!!!

Nadal getting chummy with an opponent

My favorite tennis player won his first US Open beating Novac Djokovic to clench a title that had eluded him. With this win he has achieved a career Grand Slam after winning all other major tournaments. Nadal is the perfect bachelor, his infectious smile, his athletic toned body,  the fact that he teamed up with Shakira, and his devotion to one of my favorite teams, Real Madrid, have left me in a state of swoon.

South African college paper publishes gay kiss…

I recently came across an article on queerty.com about a kiss that had sparked controversy in a college town in South Africa. Alright, before I say anymore the only reason the article struck me was because the link showed a picture of  two attractive individuals sharing an endearing kiss in public, something I might not have had the courage or the strength to do. Apparently the picture was taken during an annual event last month called  Soen in die Laan (Kiss in the Avenue), in a Cape Town university and was published in the local newspaper causing outcry. In any event many of the townspeople were outraged that the newspaper had the nerve to publish such a picture in their local newspaper. The photographer initially stated that he chose the picture because the true and genuine feeling of  honesty that the two people shared.   Mark Dean Brow and Bjorn Czepa , seen in the picture, became sort of role models and figures for acceptance in the college community that had seen fellow college men using the college paper as dart boards and tearing up the paper in protest. Nevertheless, an accident last week took the life of Bjorn Czepa and left the other in critical condition. It is unclear what are the circumstances but I feel at a loss for the families and friends of these two courageous individuals

Here are some articles that you might want to read further…



College… How I miss you, How im glad your over!

It’s the start of a new semester at my university and I find myself left with mixed feelings. Part of me is glad to be done with the tediousness of 20 page plus college research papers and exams. Nevertheless the day before classes this semester  started I was in the area and part of me felt kinda missing my university. I can honestly say that I found myself left out of the commotion of a new school year. Part of me began missing the feeling of walking through campus to class, meeting friends at random times, and even the free gym membership included where I spent a majority of my time the last 2 years. Facebook is not the same anymore when you’re not in college and logging in and hearing about how friends I left are trudging along worried about pending exams or the horrible parking situation is definitely bittersweet. Still there are some things I will forever remember from my days in college. Enjoying a Stromboli with my best friend during lunch only to later rush into the gym a half an hour later with a feeling of guilt and determination. Student appreciation day we went all over campus collecting free stuff and goofing around. Of the countless days on campus there were times when we would waste away an hour or two just talking and people watching; sometimes foolishly because we knew we had a test that was just around the corner or some dumb paper to scramble at the last-minute. Skipping class became a hobby for me and some of my friends. Although we weren’t religious about it like some other classmate, we did pride ourselves in finding the perfect days to skip and these sometimes included going out to BDubs for Thursday 40 cent boneless wings! Overall, the college experience led me to new friends and new  experiences that I will always remember. Everyone experience that one or multiple bad days where papers wouldnt’ print, presentations failed along with the computers, parking tickets emerged on windshields, and even the occasional missed exam. Okay, so maybe not that extreme but looking back we can laugh at the misery that befell us at the most inopportune moments. On graduation day last May, the exhilaration of finally graduation overshadowed any  sadness or regret that we would be leaving campus, our friends, and classmates; but we will keep the memories throught to us close to our hearts. 

Baptiste Giabiconi

If there ever was the perfect model in the world, the title would definately fall upon the name Baptiste Giabiconi. I have delayed blogging about him only because I wanted to find a way to really make this post shine. Baptiste is a French model from Marseilles that is currently rated the number 1 male model in  Models.com. Discovered at a local gym, Baptiste had been working as a helicopter plant and was soon picked up by Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld. Karl found in Giabiconi a model that was the “male version of Gisele” and who looked good with and without clothes. His features are like no other, the hair is angelic, the eyes and face are gorgeous, and his full lips complete a look that seems too perfect for nature. In the world of male modeling its hard enough to be noticed let alone so well and for a long period of time. I find Baptiste Giabiconi one of the few male models that has been able to rise to such heights.



So I spent the entire week of my Birthday in New York City! It was more or less my 6th time or so being there so nothing special. Did some light shopping and sightseeing. Not to mention looking out for any cute guys that might cross my way. It’s all in good fun but I felt strangely alone in such a big city. I’ve developed some new friends this summer and was hoping to spend time with them that week. Nevertheless I can’t say I didn’t enjoy myself! Some of the places I visited where amazing. One night I spent with my best friend from college who is doing an internship in the fashion district. We took a walk to the Brooklyn Bridge and took some pictures and ran into her friends who presented us with the idea of taking a trip to the liquor store for some wine. We decided on champagne after perusing all their white wines for at least 15 minutes. It was then decided that we  should go to her dorm and open the bottle there, drink some, and take the rest in a water bottle! But wow, I really haven’t been an avid wine drinker but after 3 servings we both felt buzzed enough to decide to walk down and enjoy the view of Brooklyn Heights. I can’t describe the feeling of walking through the hip neighborhood, at times hand in hand, and getting to watch from across Manhattan the Statue of Liberty, the night skyline, and the Brooklyn Bridge. Eventually we decided to walk some more and found ourselves  in a park nearby with a turf field that was actually pretty comfy to lay on. The night went by fast and next thing you know I had to make my way back to the Bronx almost sleeping past my stop.


Well the World Cup is over and it was pretty much forgettable. Spain crawled their way through a plethora of 1-0 wins much like France in the last World Cup but without a classy player like Zinedine Zidane. I was left rooting for a scoreless Fernando Torres and found it bittersweet that a player as cheap and so prone to diving scored. Iniesta at least got the pass from Torres but for me Iker Casillas is the hero for saving two of Robben’s shots! The biggest let down for me was Gourcuff only playing 2 games and Brazil crashing out just like four years ago. Nevertheless there is hope, France has a new manager, Dunga is done for Brazil, and hopefully I get to see more of Gorgeous Gourcuff play and have a more pivotal role in the national team.

SPAIN!!! WC CHAMPS 2010 Fernando Torres

In other news I am officially tan to a ridiculous golden bronze! LOL not really but after spending 3 entire days at Myrtle Beach I came back looking many shades darker. Loving it! I haven’t been able to go back and play soccer with the cutie from a couple of weeks ago =( and now I have three of my best friends on vacation which sucks. I need a summer romance to develop soon and hopefully my birthday which is coming up like next week is eventful! =P

Summer Days

Just got back from a soccer game and guess what? I met the cutest italian boy at a park close to my house and he invited me to play on his team lol. I was at Diamond Park, a huge soccer complex like 5 minutes away from my house, with my brothers we were the only ones there till a bunch of other guys showed up. Two of them where from Italy and the others where from Walsh University I think. This guy look like a mini Francesco Totti but way cuter and the way he was pulling his shorts up after I introduced myself made me think he was trying to get at me or something. He told me his name, Agos or something I couldn’t really catch it completely lol. He had a cute little red earing on his left ear and it looked like something my little sister would wear but cute nonetheless… (maybe I should consider getting my ears done lol) Anyways I passed him a sweet assist for our first goal and he was like ecstatic and talked with the cutest accent. I ended up scoring a goal myself and he began calling me Javier Zannetti LOL. The only thing I regret is that I didn’t get their numbers or ask if they come there often… =(
O well, I guess I’ll be going for sure there next Wednesday around 7pm or so. 😉  

He kinda looks like Davide Santon:  


Davide Santon

Inter Milan's Davide Santon

Ryan Taylor!!!

Ryan Taylor

Wow o wow if only I had a boy like this. His lips are angelic and his eyes are so pleading. Ryan Taylor is the type of boy who would melt chocolate in sub-zero weather!

In other news I found out a cute little blog and its title pic took my breath away…=)

check it out… http://boispirit.blogspot.com/2007/11/ryan-taylor-video.html

World Cup Players part 2

So heres a couple more soccer players I missed last time…

David Villa:  Is playing for Spain and already has 2 goals in this world cup

Robin Van Pearsie: Striker for the Netherlands


Fabio Cannavaro: Captain of the Italian National Team. Gorgeous body, face… Total boyfriend material =)

Cristiano Ronaldo: And last but definitely not least… I fell in love with him 4 years ago in the last world cup and haven’t yet gotten over it. Love him or hate him he is the number one player right now and has already scored a goal in this World Cup.


So lately I have been having a hard time falling asleep for some reason. Yesterday night was the worst of them. I went to bed a 11 am and tossed and turned till i got up to pee. I checked my cell phone and it was 5 in the morning. I honestly don’t know what has been going on lately. I find myself falling asleep in the day mostly when I’m watching some World Cup game LOL. So this morning I feel so tired and sore everywhere I think I might be catching the flu or something ehhgh!

In other news I wanted France to beat Mexico yesterday only because I am obsessed with Yoann Gourcuff, but the coach had him on the bench the whole time!! They ended up losing by two. So it seems my hopes of seeing him further in the tournament are all but lost. =( Now ill be rooting for Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo, Holland’s Ibrahim Affelay,  Spain’s Torres and if all else fails Brazil…

World Cup’s Sexiest Players!


5 days left to the greatest/largest tournament in the world! The World Cup is coming up and I figured I would put up some cute sexy players to watch out for..  ; )     

First: Fernando Torres    

A striker and number 9 for Spain and for Liverpool, I first remember seeing him 4 years ago in the last world cup! He was gorgeous back then with his european mullet… With 3 goals in the last world cup he is bound to net a couple more. Look out for him…    


Next up: Ibrahim Afellay     

He is a midfielder for Holland/The Netherlands, and plays for PSV. He has the most gorgeous face and eyes see for yourselves:    



And now my favorite!    

Yoann Gourcuff    

I used to like A.C. Milan back when Kaka and Ronaldo were playing there and I remember seeing him playing there and immediately falling in love! This midfielder plays now for Bordeaux and won French Player of the Year in 2009. He plays internationally from France and I will definitely tune in to watch more of his games…    



French Player of the Year 2009



“Le Clan”/Three Dancing Slaves

The other night I found a beautiful rare movie while searching through youtube. “Le Clan” or Three Dancing Slaves is a movie about three brothers who live in a small working town in France and how they cope in the months after the death of their mom. Marc, the middle one, gets involved with drugs and gets into all sorts of problems. Christophe,played by Stéphane Rideau, the oldest is fresh out of jail and tries to begin a new life away from his past problems and fights the temptation to rejoin his old gang. Olivier, my favorite of the three, is almost 18 and seems to be falling in love with Hicham, a friend of the older brothers who is into capoeira. Olivier is shy and unsure of himself but develops a very close friendship with Hicham as he tries to teach him the Brazilian slave dance. Overall each brother finds a way to pull through in even the most tragic and violent ways. They are so close and devoted to each other in a way that most siblings might not necessarily be. The chemistry between Olivier and Hicham is so touching at times that it can take your breath away but this isn’t a happy love story and nor is it a “love letter”. I cried myself to sleep that night immensely touched by the two characters… One longing for the other knowing it wasn’t meant to last…

I watched this movie on the logo movie network but they edited out some parts =(… I don’t really know where to get the full version besides ebay or netflix

Director: Gaël Morel 2004

Heres the you tube video:  Olivier is gorgeous btw… just beautiful

the song is cute too a bit sad though…